Alright, Blogging time!...
So Homesickness. Yay right? Sunday I called m parents while they were in Texas in tears begging to come home. Let me tell you, I am not a cryer. I am a pretty strong person who is a sap to movies in which dogs are involved in the climax (My Dog Skip, Fox and the Hound, Marley and Me) or when there is a baby involved (Life as We Know It) You get the idea. I'm like Amanda from the Holiday. It takes a whole lot for me to cry. So to say I spent a whole day crying without those movies is quite the thing to say.
Lets talk about being homesick. How many times have I been homesick in my life? Including the past 3 days? Once. I think it's because usually when I leave home I am with people I know and love (i.e. FISHsters, Chrysalis people, Krislunders, ect.). Here it's God and I chillin' in Germany. Although God is an amazing companion, nothing would make me happier than a hug from someone I've know for more than a week or so.
Let's talk about hugging. Americans hug everyone. You greet someone and hug. You say goodbye to someone and hug. You sooth someone and hug. You go and peace and hug somebody. (Yay FISH!) Here you shake hands. I have gotten a few hugs being the friend making machine that I am. Also I'm American so I'm hot stuff and everyone knows I'm super chill with hugging. However due to our often hugging routines, we are quite skilled huggers. Due to German's lack of practice, they are mediocre at best. That's the worst. Also there is nothing like you mom's hug. My mom's hugs own all so you can understand why I miss them. My mom here hates hug. I have seen her hug her 6 year old once in the 10 days I have been here and it was when she was crying hysterically. When I was crying trying to ask if I could call my parents I got a hug from my father where he finally understood my hand motions and allowed me to call. A while later, I was in a silent sobbing state watching Spongebob in German, when my mom told me that Going to school the next day would be better. She was right and it made me feel better when I understood her, it was just not what I expected (or needed) from her. I really just wanted a hug and to be told that this is my home.
Moms are always right, something during childbirth or something. It messes with your head. Well School was better. I was on the verge of tears all day and was grateful no one wanted to talk about my home that day and made it home and through a snack until a tear appeared. I called my family yet again. I begged and begged and begged to come home. Clearly I had no luck because I am far from packing my bags.
Later that night my liaison's older sister called me. My friend through AFS told her liaison my woes and the fact that my liaison was in Prague with my sister on a school trip. She of corse contacted AFS who had Sara, Teresa's older sister, call me. She was super duper helpful and she told me about her first few weeks in America while I cried and asked when the soonest I could go home. She told me I could go home right now if I really wanted and then I reilazed that I didn't really want to go home.
That's when my wish changed. I didn't want to go home, I wanted time to fly right now. I wanted to have fun. So today at schools, while friends were talking about places in Berlin I asked if they would take me to Berlin and show me around. October 11 we are doing just that. Having something besides going home in July to look forward to has been helpful. Today went very much so better. When talking to my mom on the phone today I did not cry. Instead I talked about things we could with our Host Student that would make her feel at home at our house. I also asked her to mail me some books and Goldfish and just told her about what had been going on.
What has been going on you may ask. Well when I wasn't sobbing I was playing this board game called Canananou or something German and long and lots of "n"s and "o"s. It is a game in which you draw cards similar to the cards found in the game Memory, and you lay it down trying to built a castle or road or pasture, depending on what was on your card. You lay little colored people (I've been yellow every time) Depending on where your person is is where you want to play. If you have a person on the road you want to complete that road, if you have a person in a castle you want to finish that castle. Get it? no? well it took a lot of explaining and sowing for me to get it. Anyway it rocks and I have played it 3 times since yesterday. The best part is my Mom gets a chocolate bar for the game too and we eat chocolate and laugh. It's been great bonding. We watch TV and react to it. Even with our huge language barrier we are able to communicate enough to laugh. That sure has helped.
Conclusion, Board games, chocolate, TV, and talking about home cure homesickness.
Oh and I've also written a few letters to myself to read before going home that explain why i want to go home. Talk about a great idea.
Good for you.
ReplyDeleteI might have room in my bags in November to bring over something for you (and then send it from Munich). Can't be too big, but keep that in mind.
I'm glad you're working this out. Frankly, you were having the exact same freakout that most people seem to have in your situation. There will still be low points, but you'll manage.
I always knew chocolate would be involved in the remedy along with good talks with your mom and families! Way to find a solution!
ReplyDeletePROUD TO BE YOUR AUNT CARRIE
Way to go, Emma....keep puttin' one foot in front of the other and only look for the next step!
ReplyDelete